Writing about Writing
And other updates.
Hello friends and supporters of the After Purity Project,
Since I submitted the manuscript for After Purity: Race, Sex, and Religion in White Christian America I’ve told myself I’m taking a break from writing which has, of course, not gone according to plan. Turns out that after the writing is done, you move into a stage of writing about writing which is tedious at worst, revelatory at best. So on the off-chance some of you are in need of either tedium or illumination, I thought I’d resurrect Chew on This! at least momentarily. I am grateful for the moments that writing feels like a gift rather than a chore. And more grateful for those of you who are finding and subscribing to Chew on This! the newsletter from the After Purity Project. It feels like a good time for a check-in and an update.
When I first started conceiving of After Purity, the book, I wanted to remain open to writing beyond my comfort level which is firmly situated in academic writing. As an academic writer I get to hide behind “expertise” and embrace a traditional voice that is outside the subject of study. My first book, Virgin Nation: Sexual Purity and American Adolescence, was written according to the conventions of academia and while I remain proud of this contribution to the study of evangelical and sexuality in the U.S., I soon learned that a follow-up would need to push those boundaries.
When I started interviewing people about their experiences growing up and out of evangelical purity culture in 2020, I had some idea what themes would emerge: sexual disappointment/frustration, gender-based discrimination and religious trauma. But as I gathered people’s stories I saw one theme that served as a powerful through-line: disembodiment. Wondering about disembodiment as both a cause and symptom of evangelical purity culture and white racial identity, it occurred to me that academia is also a major culprit of disembodiment. The writing skills I’d developed over the years were no longer sufficient for writing about bodies—especially when the topic I’m seeking to describe is itself bound by disembodiment. I knew I had to write differently, I knew that I needed to be present in my writing. I’ve sat and struggled with this dilemma for three years, experimenting with memoir and creative non-fiction. I wasn’t entirely comfortable writing about myself, though in some instances I found my own experiences of growing up in White evangelicalism provided a layer of texture to my academic analysis that I felt comfortable with, even proud of. Slowly, I’ve been finding ways to weave these together trying to amalgamate personal narrative and academic analysis.
I like to practice experimentation when it comes to writing and to building community. It makes me more brave about connecting with people and moving into the unknown. Writing creative non-fiction has meant meeting and building community with other non-academic writers. These risks with genre and relationships are beginning to cultivate deep joy and I feel freedom from the constraints of academic writing and can function more fully from my head and my heart. It feels like an integration, the kind that takes years to cultivate as your cells slowly transform their atomic structure.
Soon I will be doing something I’ve always secretly dreamed about, reading my writing aloud to an audience. Not as an academic, not as a lecturer, but as a creative writer. I was able to manage the pressure of graduate school by pretending I wrote for This American Life and herded sheep in Klamath Falls, Oregon. It helped. Writing is how I process strong emotions, wide-spread social dilemmas like patriarchy, white supremacy, sexual abuse and trauma. The complex circuitry of my brain whirs with ideas and feelings as they coalesce and scatter into different lists, images, and affects that I have to manage and contain. Words help.
When I meet other creatives (especially writers and visual artists) I often feel immediate kinships, not just around shared commitments, but similar dispositions and desires for a world that values creativity and whimsy and curiosity. I hope to put some of that into the world alongside my academic work that is still very much part of how I engage the world. Soon, I’ll be sharing my writing in public and if you are in Michigan I hope you will consider joining me and these gifted writers:
Cait West is a Grand Rapids based author whose first book, Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy will be released later this month. I was able to read an advanced copy and was deeply moved by how Cait crafts the stories she tells. The affective impact was initially a challenge because she did such a good job of inviting the reader to feel their way through the experiences of isolation and control associated with Christian patriarchy. And in the second half of the book, she releases that pressure valve and as her writing becomes more fluid and airy, you enjoy the release of escape. I found myself gulping for air and grateful for the relief. Cait’s story is an important one for understanding how abuse flourishes within evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity. I feel so honored to make my public debut as a creative writer as we celebrate her first book.
But none of this would be possible without Dawn Burns, a creative writer and college professor from Lansing, Michigan. Dawn is a connector of people and this introvert is so grateful that she saw a place for me to plug in. She is also the author of Evangelina: Everyday a novel about a married women who comfortable marriage has become a site for religious and gender-based trauma. It is the kind of book that saves lives.
Cait, Dawn, and I have scheduled readings for each of our respective hometowns. So if you are nearby, I hope you will consider joining us. The topics that bring us together are difficult and our hope is to provide a trauma-informed event. But these are also public events which means there is always a limit to what we can do. Just something to keep in mind as you decide how best to take care of yourself.
Upcoming Events:
Saturday, April 27, 2pm-4pm
Everybody Reads: Many Voices Open Mic
Featuring Cait West, Dawn Burns, and Sara Moslener
Location: 2019 E. Michigan Avenue, Lansing
https://www.facebook.com/events/961350425568237?ref=newsfeed
Thursday, May 23, 7:00 pm
Sleepy Dog Books
Author Panel Discussion with Cait West, Dawn Burns, and Sara Moslener
Location: Art Reach of Mid-Michigan
111 Broadway Street, Mt. Pleasant
https://www.sleepydogbooks.com/events.html#/
TBA
Bettie’s Pages
11635 E. Fulton Street, Suite 500, Lowell, MI
Recent podcast appearances:
Where Do We Go From Here? With Devi Abraham
Pure White: The Origin Story of Purity Culture
Left of Lansing with Pat Johnston
The History of White Christian Nationalism
Tent Talks with Dr. Stephen Backhouse
White Tears with Sara Moslener and Lisa Sharon Harper
Classical Ideas Podcast with Gregory Soden
Episode 270: Evangelical Purity Culture with Dr. Sara Moslener
https://classicalideaspodcast.libsyn.com/episode-270-evangelical-purity-culture-wdr-sara-moslenor
So glad to have met you, Sara, and to be building community with you! These events we have planned with Cait...I hardly know what will come from them, but I'm looking forward to finding out! Feels like the right time for such work.
All you say here, both about building creative community and about disembodiment are so resonant and I'm fascinated by the connections you're drawing between "evangelical purity culture and white racial identity." More conversations to come, no doubt!